Come to Jesus...Chris Rice

Oh how I just love this song!
What a wonderful reminder that no matter what we are going through, happiness or sadness, worries or struggles...Come to Jesus!

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."
~Matthew 11:28


Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for Love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burdens lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain...so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk, sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain...then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside...then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on glory's side...and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Alive Again...

Late have I loved you.
Beauty at once so ancient and so new.
Too late have I loved you.
You were within, and I was without, and I searched the world for you.
Clumsily, I rushed heedlessly among the lovely things you have made.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Things kept me far from you, even though they were not at all unless they were in you. You called to me; You cried aloud to me; You broke through my barrier of deafness.
You shone upon me; Your radiance enveloped me; You put my blindness to flight.
You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I gasp for You; tasted You and now I hunger and thirst for You.
You touched me and I burned for Your Peace.
~St. Augustine ~Confessions

31 Ways To Pray For My Children...

I haven't posted in a while...We've been quite busy with our brand new, very first year of home schooling! Wow! It hasn't been very long yet, but WOW!!! That's all there really is to say! Ok, stressful...there's another word...wait, insane...ummm...crazy...very time consuming...your house work will suffer...your family will think you've lost it!

I wanted to quit after week one! I cried and cried...I thought, "How in the world am I actually going to be able to do this?! I can't do this, this is crazy!" But, then I realized I was actually right! I CAN'T do this...But, God CAN!

We prayed long and hard about the decision to home school and God provided the way...There were a ton of obstacles, hoops to jump through, brick walls, hills to climb, etc...But, when I finally let go and trusted in Him...Ta-Da! That was it, He provided in the most amazing ways! (One of the ways was, a super-duper abosolutely wonderful Titus 2 woman allowed herself to be used as a blessing to a family in need...I thank and praise God for her!)

Well, we were so super excited when we had all of our materials and curriculum! The first day we were like giddy "school girls" (hehehe...get it? Silly school girls? We home school...we're ummm...ok, never mind!) Then...DUN-DUN-DUN...the regular day-to-day responsibilities started pouring into my dream world of perfect home schooling!

AHHHH...was my first thought!
Second, I had a mini nervous break down and a mild heart attack!

Then third, I freaked out on my family like any kind, loving, peaceful, and gentle mom and wife would!

Then forth, and lastly, I freaked out on God! I locked myself in my room and prayed soooooooooooooooo hard! I told Him of the many reasons this was a huge mistake and how there was no way I could continue on this "task of insanity"! I asked Him how and why He would allow me (a nervous wreck) to even consider home schooling let alone start it?! There was much more I said to Him, until all of a sudden I realized I was just talking, talking, talking...talking at Him...Him...my Lord...my Lord that gave me breath, that gave me my beautiful children, that gave me the ability and the opportunity to home school, that broke through every single obstacle that stood in our way and made it possible...a true miracle! I felt so convicted! How dare I come to Him and doubt Him! How dare I question Him in such a way! Where was my faith and my trust in Him? Gone because I was having a bad day?! How dare I!

I just knelt there at my bed and quietly cried. I realized I couldn't do it...NOT without HIM who gives me strength!

That is our home school verse now..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

Now, I know I can't go around claiming that verse for EVERYTHING! I mean; I can't yell it while I'm getting ready to jump off a cliff and hope to fly because I really believe I can do ALL things with Christ...like fly. That would just be crazy!

Anyway, if you would have asked me a couple weeks ago if home schooling was a good idea, I would have probably laughed hysterically like someone who should be locked up in an insane asylum, looked at you with eyes bulging and most likely twitching too, and said,
"AHHHHHHHHHH...Only if you enjoy having nervous break downs every single day and all day long! Only if the stress of every day life just isn't enough for you and you really desire a whole lot more! Only if you really enjoy the thought of wanting to beat your head against a wall! Only if you want to not only tear all your hair out, but also rip your brains out through your ears...than sure...do it!"

But, now I'd say..."Trust in the Lord, pray a ton, love God and your children more then your fear and do it!"

P.S. I am still crazy, but I'm trusting my God!


Ok, Now with ALL of that...I stole the following posting below from my sister. I soooo LOVE this! It's a wonderful reminder of how we should pray for our children...your's, mine, and our's...ALL of them...

Please feel free to steal, copy and paste this also...and pass it along!


31 Ways To Pray For My Children...

1) salvation "Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory" (Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10).

2) growth in grace "I pray that they may 'grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ'" (2 Peter 3:18).

3) love "Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to 'live a life of love,' through the Spirit who dwells in them" (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22).

4) honesty and integrity " May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection" (Psalm 25:21, NLT).

5) self-control " Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be 'alert and self-controlled' in all they do" (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

6) a love for God's Word " May my children grow to find your Word 'more precious than gold, than much pure gold; [and] sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb'" (Psalm 19:10).

7) justice " God, help my children to love justice as you do and to 'act justly' in all they do" (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8).

8) mercy " May my children always 'be merciful, as [their] Father is merciful'" (Luke 6:36).

9) respect (for self, others, authority) " Father, grant that my children may 'show proper respect to everyone,' as your Word commands" (1 Peter 2:17a).

10) strong, Biblical self-esteem " Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are 'God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus'" (Ephesians 2:10).

11) faithfulness "' Let love and faithfulness never leave [my children],' but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts" (Proverbs 3:3).

12) courage "May my children always 'Be strong and courageous' in their character and in their actions" (Deuteronomy 31:6).

13) purity "'Create in [them] a pure heart, O God,' and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions" (Psalm 51:10).

14) kindness "Lord, may my children 'always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else'" (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

15) generosity "Grant that my children may 'be generous and willing to share [and so] lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age'" (1 Timothy 6:18-19).

16) peace, peaceability "Father, let my children 'make every effort to do what leads to peace'" (Romans 14:19).

17) joy " May my children be filled 'with the joy given by the Holy Spirit'" (1 Thessalonians 1:6).

18) perseverance " Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to 'run with perseverance the race marked out for [them]'" (Hebrews 12:1).

19) humility " God, please cultivate in my children the ability to 'show true humility toward all'" (Titus 3:2).

20) compassion " Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion" (Colossians 3:12).

21) responsibility " Grant that my children may learn responsibility, 'for each one should carry his own load'" (Galatians 6:5).

22) contentment " Father, teach my children 'the secret of being content in any and every situation. . . . through him who gives [them] strength'" (Philippians 4:12-13).

23) faith " I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children's hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them" (Luke 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40).

24) a servant heart " God, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, 'as to the Lord, and not to men'" (Ephesians 6:7, KJV).

25) hope " May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).

26) the willingness and ability to work hard " Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, 'as working for the Lord, not for men'" (Colossians 3:23).

27) a passion for God " Lord, please instill in my children a soul that "followeth hard after thee," a heart that clings passionately to you (Psalm 63:8, KJV).

28) self-discipline " Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire 'a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair'" (Proverbs 1:3).

29) prayerfulness " Grant, Lord, that my children's lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to 'pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests" (Ephesians 6:18).

30) gratitude " Help my children to live lives that are always 'overflowing with thankfulness,' 'always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ'" (Colossians 2:7, Ephesians 5:20).

31) a heart for missions " Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples" (Psalm 96:3).

*** Thank you Stephanie for these 31 Prayers! ***

Super-Cute Artsy Stuff & A Give-A-Way!!!

Well, I've been wanting to get a little bit fancy with decorating the kiddies' rooms. Right now there is no theme at all, just a bunch of "thrown together-ness". I'd like to make each of our kids their own personal area full of cute-ness and things that interest them. Plus, they have shared rooms and different ages, so it would be awesome to make it different but go together at the same time. Does that make any sense? Well, we have 4 girls and 2 boys...ranging from 11yrs. to 11mos. and I found these super-duper cute ideas on these blogs/websites! Tooo stinkin' cute! They have so many things for both girls and boys. I would LOVE to do something original for each of them. I so wish we had more money...wait, maybe that's a good thing! I sure could go crazy with decorating! These are some of the cutest little ideas ever! And, they are even homemade! I might even get kinda brave and maybe try my hand at doing something cute and crafty, the only bum-a-roo is our amazing Heavenly Father didn't bless me with the spiritual gift of craftiness...so who knows how that will go...plus, we have a mini-zoo of little ones...soooo again, who know how that will go! I can always dream!

Right now they are even doing a give-a-way! What...did I just say free cute stuff? Yes, I did! If you go and check out the Tinker Dot site (the cutest stuff ever site!) or the Designs by Vanessa site, you can get all the details there!

My fav'z for the give-a-way would for sure be the "Princess" canvas, the "Daughters" or the "Mothers & Daughters" canvas! LOVE them!

Here's the links below for you to go and check them out too! Hope you enjoy!

http://tinkerdot.com

http://tinkerdotdesigns.blogspot.com

http://www.designsbyvanessa.blogspot.com

http://designsbyvanessa.blogspot.com/2009/08/tinker-dot-designs-giveaway-free.html

A Piece of My Heart is Leaving for Washington...

So, Tomorrow my little 8 year old Jordan has to get on an airplane and fly all the way to the other side of the country to Washington to spend some time with his biological father (my ex-husband), all the way far from home and from me! This is the second summer now that this will take place. He will be gone from home this time for 28 whole days! Last time it was just about 2 weeks (and still ever so hard!). This time he will also be making this trip without his big sister who is his best friend and protector. She made the big decision to not go this time, he wanted to make that very same decision as well, but sadly he is only 8 and I have to legally send him anyway.

My heart is so absolutely crushed, it literally hurts! I had to fight back tears while I packed his suitcase! I think I may have blinked and blinked the tears back so much that all my eye lashes fell off! I think I may have swallowed the urge to cry so badly that my dinner is swimming in tears! I had hoped beyond measure that last year would be the very last year that I had to do this! But, I guess God has a reason for this to continue even though it hurts so much and I just don't understand why.

You may say, "What's the big deal; it's his father, don't you want them to have a relationship?" Well, if you only truly knew him... He has been in and out of my children's lives since our separation in 2003, mostly out. Visiting maybe once a year and calling like once a month, if that. This was all while he still lived right here in Michigan! Well, because he loves money more than life itself, he moved far from the kids (which really wasn't a big deal since they never saw him anyway!) to take a job in Washington. Then last year he met someone and she ended up getting pregnant, well now he has decided that he'd like to impress her and her family with his amazing parenting skills! So, even though he has shown no interest in my children's lives before, the court has ordered that he has the right to play daddy during the summer! This really absolutely sickens me beyond belief! The judge even said, "This really is a shame and unfortunate, but right now currently Michigan law says that even though he has not paid child support or shown an interest to exercise his visitation rights, he is still allowed by law to have summer visitation and in the state where he now resides in." She was very unimpressed and sickened by him and what he had to say for himself. She even told me that she was very sorry and that she definitely sympathized with me. That was great and all, but it still didn't really help me any.

What makes this so hard is that I know he (Jordan's dad) doesn't really want to do this. He get's all stressed out when he has to be "dad". It "un-cools" his image, cramps his style, rains on his parade!

It makes it harder because of who he is...if he was sincere in this and was doing this because he loved the kids and really wanted to spend time with them because he loved them so much with all of his heart it would be so different. Although it would still be so very difficult with them being so far away!

Last year I was very angry! Angry at the law, angry at my ex, angry at his girl friend (who I blamed for causing all of this), angry at my ex's family, angry at his girl friend's family, and I was also VERY angry at God. He could have stopped this, but didn't! Why? Why was He allowing me to go through this? Where was He? How could He be a good caring God and let this happen to me? What happened to, "God works out all things for the good for those that love Him" ?!!! I didn't see the good in this!

But, all this year I have been trying and trying to prepare myself for this summer's trip...In that time I realized that all of this is the consequence of my sin. I sinned when I married him...I knew that I didn't really love him...I knew that God was telling me "NO!", but I did it anyway...I felt obligated...I had already said yes...and, everyone knew I said yes...so I went through with it anyway. That was indeed a SIN! I couldn't really be the wife I should have been because there was no true love there. I thought maybe someday it would happen, but we divorced instead (he had this thing where he enjoyed dating others). So, I took the easy way out. Even though God had mercy on me and gave me the opportunity for a biblical divorce, I know all of what transpired was wrong! I should have never married him to begin with, he enjoyed dating other people way to much even before we were married, I didn't really love him, he was not who God had chosen for me. I should have walked away even though I said yes, BEFORE I said "I do!" because in my heart I really "DIDN'T"!

I was to proud to let everyone know that I had made a mistake, that I was wrong, that I didn't love this person. I didn't want people to look at me like I was a failure! I wish now that I wouldn't have been so hard on myself!

So, because I let my pride get the best of me...because I was to proud to say, "Ok look, I was wrong...here's your ring back, I can't marry you...it will be a huge mistake and a disaster!" I am now stuck with the consequence of having him in my life always. Not that my children are a consequence...they are my wonderful and beautiful gift from God! But, the other parent is the consequence. I wish with all my heart I would have waited for Gary! Then we'd have all of our little ones together, and with no stupid "summer visitation" trips! We'd have only super-cool "summer vacation" trips!

Well, this year I can't lie...there is still anger, but not like last year. This year I'm mad at the situation. Mad that my children are used as pawns in his silly stupid game of playing house and trying to impress others! But, I'm not mad at God, this I can say for sure. Instead I'm trying to trust in Him, hope in Him, find my strength in Him. There must be a reason for this to continue. I know God is faithful, and even though I made a mess and now there will always be these consequences for my sin, I know He will not just leave me alone in them. I know He won't just say, "Well, you made your bed, now lie in it!" No, I know He is merciful to His children and has His holy hand in all this and is working here somewhere, even if I can't see it. There must be a light at the end of this tunnel, I know it...I have faith that I will see it...even if not for now. And, now I know with all my heart and trust in the promise that our Heavenly Father does and will work out all things (even the tough heartbreaking stuff) for the good for those that love Him! And I do, and now I finally have hope in my God!

In place of the anger is a lot of sadness though...A LOT of sadness! That is hard to stop...I'm working on it though. I've been trying to be very stiff upper lipped for Jordan...I don't want this to be harder on him than it already is.

Tomorrow is going to be rather tough...I can't promise there won't be any tears when I say goodbye to my handsome little dude and send a piece of my heart off to Washington!

To Home School or not to Home School this is my question?

So, I have this crazy desire to home school, but I am sooooooooooooo...afraid! Why? Well, I'm not organized, I hate math, our house is not organized, I hate math, our lives are not organized, and I hate math! I haven't been able to shake the stinkin' desire though! Plus, on top of all that my two oldest children really want to be home schooled! They think it would be cool to be with me all day as both mom and teacher! What?! Normal kids don't think this way do they? Maybe God is trying to tell me something (either I should stop freaking out & just home school already OR my kids aren't normal!) I have been checking stuff out on the internet and talking to other moms who home school, and I seem to get more excited about doing it, but then that lasts for like a week and I start to freak out again!

Can I REALLY do this? We have 6 kids...2 of them are under 3 yrs. old! Plus I'll be jumping right into 6th grade! 6TH GRADE!!! AHHHHHH...6TH GRADE MATH!!! I HATE MATH!!!

Ok seriously, I need to take some deep breaths and calm down...Whew, that was a close one...I almost just threw up and passed out!

Anyway...So, right now I am thinking...thinking about options. Public school is NOT an option...don't get me started (waaaay to long of a story...and I am waaaay to dramatic right now!) So, that leaves either a Christian school or Home school...

Pro's & Con's of Home School...
PRO'S...
I get to be with my children, we all have this desire, we're in charge of their curriculum, we can teach at their pace, we can have class in our pj's (SWEET!), we have more freedom to do fun activities, most importantly we can worship God in ALL that we do!
CON'S...
I HATE MATH, we lack organization as a whole, I have no idea what I am doing, I don't know where to begin, I'm soooo afraid!

Pro's & Con's of a Christian School...
PRO'S...
Christian environment, I don't have to worry about if their falling behind, most importantly I don't have to teach math (YAY!)
CON'S...
My kids want to be at home. What if the "Christian Environment" is a little worldly? Can we afford it?

This is where I'm at...not very fun! September is only 2 months away! I want to do what is right for our family, what will benefit us all.

Times...

There are times in our lives when we feel that we are not worthy of God's love or can't even imagine how someone so beautiful and perfectly sinless could ever forgive someone like us.

How can this be true? How can it be possible that we can still be loved after all that we've done wrong?

God, our Heavenly Father knew...He knew even before the beginning of time that we would sin, what mistakes we would make, and how ugly we would be...

He chose to become man, He chose to send His one and only Son, He chose to take our sins and our punishment upon Himself. Jesus Christ chose to die for us in spite of who we are or what we did.

Jesus knew what we would be and still chose to come and die for us anyway...to love us anyway, to forgive us anyway, to save us anyway. Not because we deserve His love or forgiveness, but to display His amazing glory, His amazing mercy, His amazing love!

Through repentance and faith our sins are forgiven, there is no more condemnation, no more shame.

There is only love and freedom!

Thank you dear Lord for the cross! Thank you dear Lord for your amazing, merciful, saving grace!

Thank you dear Lord for being our Heavenly Father and loving your children even when we do fall.

Thank you dear Lord at times like these...times when we doubt, we have your Word filled with promises that we can run to...and please forgive us when we don't.